other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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