yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
