If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
BRING THE BAGELS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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