ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have already put on my inside pants.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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