omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize