Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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