Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize