I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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