he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
do nipples grow back?
Randomize