yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
