You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
