I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
