My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
