his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
