I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
