After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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