what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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