So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize