Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just crazy horny about you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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