I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
