Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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