I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
