I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
