Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
