How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
