Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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