You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
