shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
