why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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