i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
