i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
