There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
