So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
