There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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