I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
