We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
