hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
