Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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