Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
