i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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