YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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