So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
