I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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