So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
