According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
