I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
