Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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