He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
