Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
