just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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