You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
