you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize