This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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