he thought i was a dude.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
