I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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