I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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