He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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