You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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