if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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