Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
