id be glad to
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
