David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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