Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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