I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
