like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
